The endless night dragged on. I turned for the umpteenth time and wished for morning. My comfortable bed felt like a prison. What brought on this sleeplessness? I wish I could blame it on pain from the fibromyalgia I live with; that's easier to deal with. But this came from getting my eyes off Jesus and believing the enemy's lies about certain circumstances in the past. I was discouraged.
Some of the synonyms for discouragement are dejection, lack of spirit, gloom, despondency, loss of confidence, fearfulness, melancholy. Just reading the description of discouragement is discouraging! Can't you just see drooping shoulders, worry lines etched across a face, feet dragging?
We all deal with discouragement every now and then; some more than others. Since I wasn't sleeping, I began praying (why did it take me so long?) and asking God for an antidote to discouragement.
The first thing that came to mind was Romans 8:1: "There is therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." Thoughts that condemn us are not from God. God convicts us of sin, but He doesn't condemn us. Condemn means to berate, accuse, denounce, scold, attack. Does that sound like our loving God? No way! Who is the accuser? Satan. As I recognized where my thoughts were coming from, some of the discouragement lifted.
Second, the Lord put someone on my mind to pray for. This person recently lost her husband and is going through an illness. Then he brought another person to mind, a precious teen who is battling a frightening illness. As I began praying, I got my focus off myself and a little more of the discouragement dissipated.
Third, I focused on God's love for me. Romans 8:35-39 says that nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus - not trouble, hardship, death, any powers, demons. That includes thoughts planted by our enemy. Discouragement was losing its grip.
Fourth, God's faithfulness is the story of my Chrsitian life. He has never let me down! I thought about times past when He comforted me and lifted me out of other pits of discouragement. The discouragement vanished. I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.
If sleeplessness hits again, I plan to crawl out of my warm bed and run to my Bible. When discouragement bowls us over, we need God's truth to pull us out of it.
Hebrews 12: 2 says,
Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
And Romans 12:2 says,
And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Sometimes I have to remind myself to do what my blog address says: live "above the circumstances"!
Showing posts with label answered prayer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label answered prayer. Show all posts
Monday, January 4, 2010
Monday, October 12, 2009
Delayed Dreams
Job 42:12 says "And the Lord blessed the latter days of Job more than his beginning." As a late bloomer, I whooped with joy when I first read that verse. I wrote it on an index card and have it on my desk to remind me that with God it's never too late for Him to fulfill dreams.
Throughout my life, one of my greatest regrets was that I never finished college. In my early 50's I found out about a small Christian college that would give me credit for my life experiences if I wrote a relevant paper. I was accepted and attended the college for about a year. My credits added up to 30 at the end of the year.
One of the instructors was an intern from Dallas Theological Seminary. One night he mentioned that DTS would accept someone without an undergraduate degree if he or she had enough ministry experience plus an acceptable score on the GRE. The admissions committee reviews each of these types of applications individually and makes a decision.
Shortly after that I was driving down the freeway, and God very clearly spoke to my heart to apply to DTS. I kind of laughed like Sarai when God told her she was going to have a child when she old and barren. But, convinced that I was supposed to do this, I attended a "Discover Dallas" day which gives prospective students the opportunity to find out about DTS.
We had the opportunity to sit in on classes, which I loved. My excitement level soared as I listened to teaching by some of the best Bible professors in the world. Could it be possible that God really meant to fulfull my dream by getting me into DTS? I came back to earth with a huge thump as I sat through lunch. The president of DTS highlighted one of the prospective students whose parents (and I think other relatives) had both attended DTS. He had high praise for the young twenty-something.
Also at lunch those around my table asked each other about their undergraduate background. Where is that hole that opens up when you need it? Thoughts of my unstable, sinful background, my lack of a degree, and my age bombarded me. Rather than fixing my eyes on Jesus and who I am now as a child of God, I let the enemy convince me that I didn't belong at DTS. All I wanted to do was escape the shame I now felt.
Biting my lip to hold back the tears, I got up to leave. However, God had other plans. Somehow I ended up talking to a kind, compassionate, and encouraging admissions counselor. He listened to my doubts and then said, "Why don't you apply anyway; you never know."
Well, I did. . .and I was turned down, even though I did well enough on the GRE to be admitted (that was a shock). "Lord, did I not hear you correctly?" I prayed. The letter telling me I didn't make it told me to apply again in a year, so I did. I was turned down again! A couple of years later I sensed that God was telling me to try again. This time I had no illusions about being accepted, but if God wanted to me try again, I would. Surprise! After five years and three trys, I made it. So, at age 54 1/2 I enrolled as a student at DTS. I graduated three and a half years later with a master's in Christian Ed.
Lessons learned:
Comparing ourselves with others leads to pride or disillusionment. God's Word tells us not to do it, so why do we struggle so much with it? I shudder when I think how close I came to walking away from the dream that the Lord wanted to fulfill for me.
God's timing is perfect. Between the time I first applied and the time I was accepted, DTS changed their policy on students without an undergraduate degree. I would only have been allowed to earn a certificate in Biblical studies rather than a master's if I had been accepted the first or second time I applied.
With God all things are possible. I have fibromyalgia, and when I took the GRE I was experiencing foggy brain which means I couldn't think. I prayed my way through the test, and the Lord in His graciousness allowed me to score high enough for DTS requirements. Also, I needed 30 hours to apply to DTS which is exactly what I had.
With God, it's never too late to see your dreams fulfilled. I graduated when I was 57 years old. He alone enabled me to finish in spite of constant pain and overwhelming fatigue. I will never forget staring at a blank computer screen when I had to write papers, not knowing how I could do this. Except for the year I spent at the small Bible college, I had been out of school for over 30 years. Yet amazingly over and over I got papers back with A's or B's.
The greatest thing that came from my time at DTS was a fresh, expanded awareness of God's faithfulness. Over and over He kept me going when I didn't think I could put one foot in front of the other. My dependency on Christ grew exponentially. I hung on to Philippians 4:13, "I can do everything through Him who gives me strength."
Dear friends, God wants to fulfill your dreams! Trust His heart and His timing. Know that He desires wonderful things for you. The path to the fulfillment of your dreams may be long and hard, but it is so worth it. Don't give up! Many times I came home from DTS and collapsed, barely able to move. When my faith was weak, He was still faithful. We serve a mighty God who is able to do more than we can think or imagine.
Let me pray for us. Dear Father, thank you that You have wonderful things planned for us. Help us to trust You and not give up. Help us to be obedient and follow Your plan for our lives. Ultimately, it's about glorifying You and fulfilling YOUR purposes on earth. I pray my sisters in Christ would catch a renewed vision of Your great faithfulness and Your ability to finish the good work You started in us (Philippians 1:6). We love You and praise You for Your grace, mercy, and love. In the precious name of Jesus, amen!
Throughout my life, one of my greatest regrets was that I never finished college. In my early 50's I found out about a small Christian college that would give me credit for my life experiences if I wrote a relevant paper. I was accepted and attended the college for about a year. My credits added up to 30 at the end of the year.
One of the instructors was an intern from Dallas Theological Seminary. One night he mentioned that DTS would accept someone without an undergraduate degree if he or she had enough ministry experience plus an acceptable score on the GRE. The admissions committee reviews each of these types of applications individually and makes a decision.
Shortly after that I was driving down the freeway, and God very clearly spoke to my heart to apply to DTS. I kind of laughed like Sarai when God told her she was going to have a child when she old and barren. But, convinced that I was supposed to do this, I attended a "Discover Dallas" day which gives prospective students the opportunity to find out about DTS.
We had the opportunity to sit in on classes, which I loved. My excitement level soared as I listened to teaching by some of the best Bible professors in the world. Could it be possible that God really meant to fulfull my dream by getting me into DTS? I came back to earth with a huge thump as I sat through lunch. The president of DTS highlighted one of the prospective students whose parents (and I think other relatives) had both attended DTS. He had high praise for the young twenty-something.
Also at lunch those around my table asked each other about their undergraduate background. Where is that hole that opens up when you need it? Thoughts of my unstable, sinful background, my lack of a degree, and my age bombarded me. Rather than fixing my eyes on Jesus and who I am now as a child of God, I let the enemy convince me that I didn't belong at DTS. All I wanted to do was escape the shame I now felt.
Biting my lip to hold back the tears, I got up to leave. However, God had other plans. Somehow I ended up talking to a kind, compassionate, and encouraging admissions counselor. He listened to my doubts and then said, "Why don't you apply anyway; you never know."
Well, I did. . .and I was turned down, even though I did well enough on the GRE to be admitted (that was a shock). "Lord, did I not hear you correctly?" I prayed. The letter telling me I didn't make it told me to apply again in a year, so I did. I was turned down again! A couple of years later I sensed that God was telling me to try again. This time I had no illusions about being accepted, but if God wanted to me try again, I would. Surprise! After five years and three trys, I made it. So, at age 54 1/2 I enrolled as a student at DTS. I graduated three and a half years later with a master's in Christian Ed.
Lessons learned:
Comparing ourselves with others leads to pride or disillusionment. God's Word tells us not to do it, so why do we struggle so much with it? I shudder when I think how close I came to walking away from the dream that the Lord wanted to fulfill for me.
God's timing is perfect. Between the time I first applied and the time I was accepted, DTS changed their policy on students without an undergraduate degree. I would only have been allowed to earn a certificate in Biblical studies rather than a master's if I had been accepted the first or second time I applied.
With God all things are possible. I have fibromyalgia, and when I took the GRE I was experiencing foggy brain which means I couldn't think. I prayed my way through the test, and the Lord in His graciousness allowed me to score high enough for DTS requirements. Also, I needed 30 hours to apply to DTS which is exactly what I had.
With God, it's never too late to see your dreams fulfilled. I graduated when I was 57 years old. He alone enabled me to finish in spite of constant pain and overwhelming fatigue. I will never forget staring at a blank computer screen when I had to write papers, not knowing how I could do this. Except for the year I spent at the small Bible college, I had been out of school for over 30 years. Yet amazingly over and over I got papers back with A's or B's.
The greatest thing that came from my time at DTS was a fresh, expanded awareness of God's faithfulness. Over and over He kept me going when I didn't think I could put one foot in front of the other. My dependency on Christ grew exponentially. I hung on to Philippians 4:13, "I can do everything through Him who gives me strength."
Dear friends, God wants to fulfill your dreams! Trust His heart and His timing. Know that He desires wonderful things for you. The path to the fulfillment of your dreams may be long and hard, but it is so worth it. Don't give up! Many times I came home from DTS and collapsed, barely able to move. When my faith was weak, He was still faithful. We serve a mighty God who is able to do more than we can think or imagine.
Let me pray for us. Dear Father, thank you that You have wonderful things planned for us. Help us to trust You and not give up. Help us to be obedient and follow Your plan for our lives. Ultimately, it's about glorifying You and fulfilling YOUR purposes on earth. I pray my sisters in Christ would catch a renewed vision of Your great faithfulness and Your ability to finish the good work You started in us (Philippians 1:6). We love You and praise You for Your grace, mercy, and love. In the precious name of Jesus, amen!
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