I Am with You

On March 24, I wrote the following in my prayer journal:

Father, I trust You to keep me going in spite of constant pain and fatigue. I need extra grace right now. Often I have difficulty making it through the day because of extreme fatigue. It is so hard, Lord! But You know that. I pray I would persevere and that You would be glorified through my weakness.

"Challenging" describes my health the past couple of months. Not only have I dealt with pain and fatigue from fibromyalgia, but I've also lived with menopausal night sweats which have kept me from sleeping through the night. I was on Premarin for years which kept the night sweats at bay, but last summer I discontinued it because of warnings that it might cause breast cancer.

I look back and marvel at God's faithfulness through these last couple of months. He gave me (and continues to give me) strength to take care of my grandkids, cook and clean house as well as pursuing His plans for Comfort & Compassion Ministry .

At one of my lowest points, God directed me to this verse:

Do not fear, for I am with you. Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you. Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

When I read that, I felt like God had penned it just for me. Next time you feel fearful and anxious, ask yourself these questions and then look at God's reassurances.

1. What do I fear? For me, it was the fear that my physical problems would keep me from continuing with Comfort & Compassion Ministry. I've lived with fibromyalgia for over 25 years. God continually gives me the strength to live out His purpose for me. But I feared the added burden of not sleeping would cause me to shut down.

2. Am I anxiously looking at my circumstances? In other words, living by sight and not faith? It helps me to remember that Jesus, for the joy set before Him, endured the cross. (Heb. 12:2b) Hebrews 12:3 tells us to think about Jesus enduring hostility against Himself so that we will not grow weary and lose heart. Jesus has been there; He knows how I feel. He is in heaven interceding for me. My circumstances are never too big for Him.

3. Do I really believe God will take care of me during difficult times? Let's break Isaiah 41:10 down and look at the reassurance God gives us that He will take care of us.

a. I am Your God. When I meditate on who God is, it relieves the fear and anxiety. Our God is all powerful, full of grace and mercy, able to do all things. That includes fulfilling His purpose for me in spite of my physical state.

b. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you. Doubts seem stronger at night when a hot flash wakes me up and I have difficulty going back to sleep because of pain. This verse reminds me that God always gives me strength when I need it, and He always helps me in times of trouble. I thank Him for that and eventually fall back asleep.

c. Surely I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. What a word picture! I often think about God holding my hand as I walk through tough times. He is big and strong, and I am weak, dependent, and needy. I cannot slip and fall because God has me by the hand.

We need to lean into God and cling to His promises when we feel least like doing that. Joy comes through the reassurances in God's Word that surely He will strengthen and help us. Joy also comes from knowing that someday God will wipe away every tear. There will be no more pain, no more sorrow, no more fatigue. What a glorious day that will be!

Discouragement Antidotes

The endless night dragged on. I turned for the umpteenth time and wished for morning. My comfortable bed felt like a prison. What brought on this sleeplessness? I wish I could blame it on pain from the fibromyalgia I live with; that's easier to deal with. But this came from getting my eyes off Jesus and believing the enemy's lies about certain circumstances in the past. I was discouraged.

Some of the synonyms for discouragement are dejection, lack of spirit, gloom, despondency, loss of confidence, fearfulness, melancholy. Just reading the description of discouragement is discouraging! Can't you just see drooping shoulders, worry lines etched across a face, feet dragging?

We all deal with discouragement every now and then; some more than others. Since I wasn't sleeping, I began praying (why did it take me so long?) and asking God for an antidote to discouragement.

The first thing that came to mind was Romans 8:1: "There is therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." Thoughts that condemn us are not from God. God convicts us of sin, but He doesn't condemn us. Condemn means to berate, accuse, denounce, scold, attack. Does that sound like our loving God? No way! Who is the accuser? Satan. As I recognized where my thoughts were coming from, some of the discouragement lifted.

Second, the Lord put someone on my mind to pray for. This person recently lost her husband and is going through an illness. Then he brought another person to mind, a precious teen who is battling a frightening illness. As I began praying, I got my focus off myself and a little more of the discouragement dissipated.

Third, I focused on God's love for me. Romans 8:35-39 says that nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus - not trouble, hardship, death, any powers, demons. That includes thoughts planted by our enemy. Discouragement was losing its grip.

Fourth, God's faithfulness is the story of my Chrsitian life. He has never let me down! I thought about times past when He comforted me and lifted me out of other pits of discouragement. The discouragement vanished. I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.

If sleeplessness hits again, I plan to crawl out of my warm bed and run to my Bible. When discouragement bowls us over, we need God's truth to pull us out of it.

Hebrews 12: 2 says,

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

And Romans 12:2 says,

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

Sometimes I have to remind myself to do what my blog address says: live "above the circumstances"!